After The Beep

After having lived and worked here for over half a year now, I feel like I've earned the right to complain about Korea publicly (privately is another matter, as Nissa can attest). Anyway, I know I haven't necessarily earned all my stripes yet so I'll start small.

Ah, voicemail. I think back fondly to the days when I may not have heard my phone ring, or was in the shower, or was sleeping, or maybe just didn't feel like picking up the phone (gasp). Nevertheless, I would eventually return to find a little digital envelope waiting for me on an LCD screen. No, it wasn't quite as satisfying as receiving a real letter, or even an e-mail, but it was a message nonetheless. And I could listen to that voicemail, hear the voice of a friend, have a work appointment confirmed, or find out my landlord couldn't come by to fix the broken window until next week. Anyway, at least I learned something.

But Koreans don't use voicemail. The option is there, oh yes, because I've heard the beep before. But there's no point in trying. I have never received a voicemail here, not even heard the abrupt click of a voicemail thought twice. And even if I were to receive a voicemail, I would have no idea how to listen to it because I have not yet had the opportunity to use that function on my phone. And I know well enough not to leave a voicemail for someone. That would be like stuffing a letter into a bottle, sticking the cork in, and then throwing that bottle into hot, molten lava. And no, the bottle is not lava-proof. Sometimes you don't even have a choice. A kind, recorded operator will tell you the line is busy and to try again later. Then hang up on you.

It's amazing to me that in a country so technologically advanced the voicemail phenomenon has not caught on. And I don't dare to say "yet" because I don't think it will ever catch on. Text messaging is so common here that, in some ways, there is no point to using voicemail. You can probably get just as much accomplished with a few button presses, all while avoiding the awkward feeling of talking into a machine, and then fumbling toward some kind of conclusion that doesn't make you sound crazy. So, yeah... But voicemail does have its benefits -- namely, knowing why the heck someone called. And I think that if everyone here just experienced that one time, this country would be on the road to a saner future.